Sunday, September 8, 2013

DC Comics Conspired With Pentagon On "Contingency Plans", Wikileaks Reveals

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Internal documents recently leaked by Wikileaks "hactivists" reveal how noted comic book publisher DC Comics - one of two major American comic book publishing houses, the originators and owners of superhero icons such as Batman and Superman, and a mainstay of American culture for over 75 years - conspired with the Pentagon on preparing "contingency plans" to respond to possible future political and military developments.

Of particular controversy was a "contingency plotline" to be published in the highly unlikely event that the secessionist initiative enacted by disgruntled Republican voters in southern GOP strongholds had actually been successful in fracturing the United States. 10GB of brilliantly illustrated high-res TIFF files illustrate a third iteration of the "Superman Red / Superman Blue" cycle published in 1963 and 1998.

In the conceived cycle, Superman resolves a Congressional budget deadlock over military allocations by agreeing to be the first test subject for a directed-energy weapon, which splits him into Superman Red (a diehard Republican) and Superman Blue (a straight-ticket Democrat). The division of the iconic hero precipitates a fracturing of the United States into two nations along party lines, each accepting one of the two Supermen as their patrons.

The hacked archive includes several permutations of the plot cycle, apparently intended to reflect possible real-world developments, from a speedy reunion of the country, to a long-term division, to a second American Civil War.

"I don't understand why this is so controversial," said Robert "Bob" Harras, editor-in-chief of DC Comics. "We publish plotlines designed to offer constructive commentary on real-world events all the time, and the Pentagon is always busy creating all sorts of contingency plans. It was a natural partnership."

Wikileaks revealed such contingency plotlines" have been in production since at least the 1960s. Apparently, then-President Richard Nixon sought DC Comics' input and cooperation in his long-rumored authorship of a speech to be given in the event that the historic Apollo 11 manned lunar mission ended in failure. Contained in the archive, codenamed, "Black History Year" (so-named because the volume totals 52 issues, or a full year, of contingency plotlines, for various releases), is an allegorical plotline in which Green Lantern attempts to rescue astronauts stranded on the dark side of the moon, but is thwarted by a conspiracy between super-villain Sinestro and the Soviet Union.

"So you see, we didn't help fake the Moon landing. Rather, we helped with the situation that would have ensued should it have failed. We're very proud of the stories we write, even if they're not as vivid as a fake Moon landing," continued Mr Harras. "What really upsets us is that Wikileaks didn't just release old contingency plotlines, they also released plotlines which we may have released in the future and in doing so really spoiled things for our fans."

***Editor's advisory: Spoilers ahead. Passionate DC fans may wish to abstain from reading further.***

DC Comics has long had a "Justice League: Europe" organization of superheroes. With the growing consolidation of the European Union, however, DC Comics apparently felt pressured by both American and EU authorities (particularly the European Central Bank, whose new headquarters is currently under construction in Frankfurt), and fans on both continents, to create an "iconic superhero for the European Union comparable to Captain America", "the ECB has been pushing hard for this...they feel that such a hero could provide the same sense of unity and patriotism that CptA inspires from Americans and convince French and Germans, even those who aren't DC fans, to support a Greek bailout."

The iconic hero in question was styled "Commander Europe," a stocky, epauletted hero clad in black, blue and yellow armor, wielding a mace in either hand. By day, "Commander Europe", biological son of a Greek mother and German father and adopted in infancy by a French Belgian family, is an ECB banker and heir to the family shipbuilding firm. By night, he is a "proactive humanitarian" preoccupied with ensuring peace in Europe and justice in the former colonial world.

"A clear contrast must be made between Captain America, who received his powers from a US military experiment, and other typically American heroes who act as lone vigilantes, without the approval of law and political authority. This contrast must be made subtlely and without being so diametrical as to make Commander Europe appear to be a welfare state wuss or cheap knockoff, a mere 'un-America'," reads an unsourced "Editor's Notation" included in the Wikileaks archive.

"We have all kinds of wacky ideas in our creative sessions," contended Mr Harris. "There are people out there who actually think there's such a thing as a collective European national identity, or that Europe is actually going to support or actively oppose an American invasion of Syria.

"We're no crazier than those guys."

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

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